little bird helicopter


A few Christmases ago I was at a RadioShack in Lake Tahoe, California it was right before they were going out of business and I was driving home from a party with friends and I lost my charger to my phone and I needed to pick one up for the drive back to Sacramento. I walk in and they have these bad ass mini helicopters!!! I’m like “whoa bad ass!” I had to buy them, they were like a mini drones but helicopters. I thought maybe I could chase my cats around with them or something so I bought two of them.

They just stayed in the boxes for a few days until I met this cute girl at a friends party. I forgot her name though I want to say Rachel she was kind of tomboyish but cute as fuck small with light brown hair didn’t wear much makeup. We exchange numbers that night and text the whole time over the next few days. You know the routine. Anyway. I tell her to come over and chill and have drinks and she does. She’s mad cool and we are just chilling and fucking around and vibing pretty good. While I was pretending to care about her talk about her cat I remember those badass little helicopters I had. some of you might remember this on my vine, but we were having fun and chilling and I busted out one of these little helicopters and started flying this thing around my living room and fucking with the cats having way too much fun I reluctantly let her try to fly it but she would just crashed it into the walls.

I got a genius idea” hey let me try and land this little dude on your ass” so she laughs and is like “okay…I guess” and gets on all fours like doggy style but with her jeans on so I go to land it and it was a beautiful and graceful landing. “fuck yeah you see that shit !!?” I’m yelling at her but she’s probably thinking I’m fucking retarded but whatever. So I have her take her jeans off to try just bare ass. We have been making out already so she knew she was going to get grounded and pounded already so she’s like “okay but don’t let those blades hit my ass or I’ll beat your ass” she wasn’t wearing underwear so I was like “yo I’m going to vine this” so I started helicoptering and trying to vine at the same time on my phone all fucked up and of course I keep running the thing into her ass and nicking her with the heli-blades.

I think this obviously is the funniest shit in the world and she doesn’t want to do it anymore but I’m like “hold on I got i,t last time” she would just sigh and get back on all fours. So eventually she had enough and I started to smash it about 15 minutes later then after awhile I am like on my back and she’s slurping me up in this chair and I couldn’t help myself and grab the little remote and started flying it around the room and then trying to land it on her again and she’s like “stop” I think? Well my dick was in her mouth when she was telling me to “Thop!” you know it’s hard to make the “s” while your mouth is full and as she is saying it the heli is about to crash.

She’s using teeth on my peen like warning me to stop and I’m losing control of the Heli and boom! crashes right next to my chair on the side of my legs and chops up my legs with its little blades and gets all tangled up in her hair. I am in pain but laughing like when you stub your toe. She was all “Hunter what the fuck!?” I’m like “I’ll get it out don’t trip!!” thank God she had those clip in hair extensions or whatever because there was no way to get that shit out. I tried for 10 minutes naked to undo the damage but it’s hard to untangle a 4 or 5 inch plastic toy with even bigger helicopter blades tied up so close to someone’s head. She was so mad when she took her hair out.

The helicopter just laid on the floor with a big piece of hair around the blades. To be honest I thought she would be way more pissed like she would want to go home or break the helicopter but maybe we were all too fucked up and it didn’t matter. We started fucking again immediately so I’m smashing and smashing and smashing but I can’t nut and I start to get bored after a while. During sex it’s all about me, my enjoyment. When I start to get bored during sex, I’m going to try and stick it in your ass. It’s like natural progression of things like how handjobs in junior high were badass then it’s like let me stick it in your mouth and then hey K then your pussy . Oh that brown things a hole too? Let me try that!

It’s crazy because I went from just that to like naked girls in my porn you know like normal porn to where I eventually went to black chicks then grandmas and eventually ended at prolapsed assholes and then I snap all the way back to girls just naked walking around or something.same thing with sex it’s all handjobs one day and the next I’ve ran through to 8 balls of blow and I’ve got this girls asshole gaped open and I’m talking to it telling it to wink at me. Life is crazy and to be honest I forgot what the story is about ……uhm..oh yeah….. here’s the thing I don’t want to hear girls fart or poop or talk about poop or know they poop. I’d rather just pretend they don’t.

This night here traumatizing though. I’ve had girls get shit on me like when you’re fucking them in the ass .but I just don’t look down when that happens and I run to the shower look dead forward, never look down and get soap and wash it off. this night was different. the helicopter and the hair should’ve come as an omen or something.I was getting bored so I’m like “ yo let me stick it in your ass” she’s like” okay let’s go to the shower I got to get going a little so I gotta clean up” K cool whatever just let me put it in there. so we get in the shower and I turn her around and the showers on and she’s looking at me while I’ve got my wiener about to go in and I’m like “you’re good right!?”

I’m looking at her and basically asking her if she’s going to shit on me or not. she’s like “yeah I’m good , go ahead be slow though” so I jam it in and I’m just destroying her poor little butt hole like some barbaric coked out villager. Two minutes later it hits me the smell of shit which is whatever I’ll keep smashing and let the water take the shit away and the smell but it doesn’t go away .It’s like so bad I can’t breath bad. Like when you go into some public bathrooms and it’s hard to inhale. So you pull your shirt over your face and try to use it as a filter ,that bad. I can’t take the smell anymore so I pull out.

Holy fuck you think I fucked her after Thanksgiving dinner or something it wasn’t like a little shit on my dick but it was everywhere all over my legs and dick balls but I kinda gaped open her butt and for real solid turds fell out like a little ones but a bunch and they were all laying on the ground. she’s like. ”oh my God I’m so sorry “ as she’s trying to smash them down the drain. I compared to getting in a bad car wreck. like I knew what was going on but my brain wasn’t registering everything so I just start smashing the turds with her down the drain like were smashing grapes to make wine but in the shower and the grapes are shit so we get done smashing her shit down the drain. I guess we bonded over that. I get it all off me and get out of the shower and left her in the shower to clean up. The problem was that she was so fucking cute so it was a little confusing for my penis anyway long story short it was mad awkward when she left and I did hang out with her again but I just couldn’t get over it and she could tell. I never got to fly those little helicopters again. I was arrested a week later.

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Written by Hunter